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All Guides Garen Guides The Almighty Undisputed Champion of the World Crit Garen The Human Beyblade #Drowninginfreelo
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1 year ago
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Garen Statistics for Somedude69

Author's performance with Garen compared to the ranked average.

Value
Average
Games Played
3
Win %
49
Kills
6.4
Assists
5.3
Deaths
5.4
KA:D Ratio
2.2
Gold Earned
11K
Creep Score
162.3
Average
  • Author Champion Statistics
  • Guide Details

Summoner Spells Back to Top

NO BITCHES PAST THIS POINT!
TRESPASSERS WILL LEARN TO WIN GAMES IN LEAGUE ON SIGHT!

A real man would only need Garens faboulous E ability so you can just skip these, they are useless anyway; all your enemies will be dead by the time you think to yourself "Huh my sums are up"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNBAJznZgjQ It is manditory that you listen to this during every game you play as crit garen and listen to this song while reading the rest of this guide.

New Runes Back to Top

Masteries Back to Top

If stuff gives damage you need it for the obvious reasons

More Damage > More Dead Guys
More Dead Guys > More Money
More Money > More Damage

Its the f*cking circle of life baby, its what James Earl Jones was talking about in that lion movie

Abilities Back to Top

Q
E
W
E
E
R
E
Q
E
Q
R
Q
Q
W
W
R
W
W
Passive
Q
1
8
10
12
13
W
3
14
15
17
18
E
2
4
5
7
9
R
6
11
16

BE A MAN


I'm about 50% sure your E can still crit so do that

Items Back to Top

Starting Items

    This is only here cause it looks like anal beads, don't buy these cause they ain't gonna oneshot the enemy.
    Iunno Maybe this
    Or This

Core Items

    Shove this up the enemies butt, works every time.
    In need of showboating take this.
    In Case you need to oneshot Baron

Situational Items

    Beyblades be fast
    Buy this to alert the enemy of the fact that they suck.

BE A MAN



Buy the stuff that kills mofos dead.

Matchups Back to Top

Click on a champion below to see the author's notes on that particular matchup.

  • Aatrox
    Easy
  • Ahri
    Easy
  • Akali
    Easy
  • Alistar
    Easy
  • Amumu
    Easy
  • Anivia
    Easy
  • Annie
    Easy
  • Ashe
    Easy
  • Azir
    Easy
  • Blitzcrank
    Easy
  • Brand
    Easy
  • Braum
    Hard
  • Caitlyn
    Easy
  • Cassiopeia
    Easy
  • Cho'Gath
    Easy
  • Corki
    Easy
  • Darius
    Easy
  • Diana
    Easy
  • Dr. Mundo
    Easy
  • Draven
    Easy
  • Elise
    Easy
  • Evelynn
    Easy
  • Ezreal
    Easy
  • Fiddlesticks
    Easy
  • Fiora
    Easy
  • Fizz
    Easy
  • Galio
    Easy
  • Gangplank
    Easy
  • Garen
    Easy
  • Gnar
    Easy
  • Gragas
    Easy
  • Graves
    Easy
  • Hecarim
    Easy
  • Heimerdinger
    Easy
  • Irelia
    Easy
  • Janna
    Easy
  • Jarvan IV
    Easy
  • Jax
    Easy
  • Jayce
    Easy
  • Jinx
    Easy
  • Karma
    Easy
  • Karthus
    Easy
  • Kassadin
    Easy
  • Katarina
    Easy
  • Kayle
    Easy
  • Kennen
    Easy
  • Kha'Zix
    Easy
  • Kog'Maw
    Easy
  • LeBlanc
    Easy
  • Lee Sin
    Easy
  • Leona
    Easy
  • Lissandra
    Easy
  • Lucian
    Easy
  • Lulu
    Easy
  • Lux
    Easy
  • Malphite
    Easy
  • Malzahar
    Easy
  • Maokai
    Easy
  • Master Yi
    Easy
  • Miss Fortune
    Easy
  • Mordekaiser
    Easy
  • Morgana
    Easy
  • Nami
    Easy
  • Nasus
    Hard
  • Nautilus
    Easy
  • Nidalee
    Easy
  • Nocturne
    Easy
  • Nunu
    Easy
  • Olaf
    Easy
  • Orianna
    Easy
  • Pantheon
    Easy
  • Poppy
    Easy
  • Quinn
    Easy
  • Rammus
    Easy
  • Renekton
    Easy
  • Rengar
    Easy
  • Riven
    Easy
  • Rumble
    Easy
  • Ryze
    Easy
  • Sejuani
    Easy
  • Shaco
    Easy
  • Shen
    Easy
  • Shyvana
    Easy
  • Singed
    Easy
  • Sion
    Easy
  • Sivir
    Easy
  • Skarner
    Easy
  • Sona
    Easy
  • Swain
    Easy
  • Syndra
    Easy
  • Talon
    Easy
  • Taric
    Easy
  • Teemo
    Easy
  • Thresh
    Easy
  • Tristana
    Easy
  • Trundle
    Easy
  • Twisted Fate
    Easy
  • Twitch
    Easy
  • Udyr
    Easy
  • Urgot
    Easy
  • Varus
    Easy
  • Vayne
    Easy
  • Veigar
    Easy
  • Vel'Koz
    Easy
  • Vi
    Easy
  • Viktor
    Easy
  • Vladimir
    Easy
  • Volibear
    Easy
  • Warwick
    Easy
  • Wukong
    Easy
  • Xerath
    Easy
  • Xin Zhao
    Easy
  • Yasuo
    Easy
  • Yorick
    Easy
  • Zac
    Easy
  • Zed
    Easy
  • Ziggs
    Easy

VS

Aatrox

Easy

Huh this guy still exists

VS

Ahri

Easy

I think i have seen that porno

VS

Akali

Easy

Why does she have two schythes, whats that about?

VS

Alistar

Easy

The Manitaur

VS

Amumu

Easy

It is common knowledge that mummys are stupid, therefore he sucks

VS

Anivia

Easy

Omelette du Anivia

VS

Annie

Easy

All the jokes i have about this 6 year old are very inappropriate

VS

Ashe

Easy

Would Smash

VS

Azir

Easy

Would not smash

VS

Blitzcrank

Easy

A free dash, it is situational if you wanted to dash but you did not pay money for it so good deal


VS

Brand

Easy

"Kill it with fire"

Proven ineffective 

VS

Braum

Hard

Hes got one hell of a Mustache 

Watch out for this one

VS

Caitlyn

Easy

Looks exactly like sasha grey, would smash

VS

Cassiopeia

Easy

Can i Smash?

VS

Cho'Gath

Easy

Would definately smash

And yes i am a sick F*ck

VS

Corki

Easy

This guy has a very gay mustache(easy win) plus he is on a plane and you're still faster than him

VS

Darius

Easy

He sucks at spinning, Need i say more?

VS

Diana

Easy
dianateleport.png < Thats a penis

VS

Dr. Mundo

Easy

He´s a doctor, the worst thing they do to people are prostate exams.

BE SAFE

VS

Draven

Easy

We come back to that thing about shitty mustaches

VS

Elise

Easy

Ugh, i hate spiders

VS

Evelynn

Easy

Not gonna lie would smash

VS

Ezreal

Easy

Ez

VS

Fiddlesticks

Easy

Batman will take care of this one

VS

Fiora

Easy

The trick here is to not even go top, french people are mathematically proven to be bitches, she will surr@15

VS

Fizz

Easy

I kinda like sushi

VS

Galio

Easy

What even is that?

VS

Gangplank

Easy

Yarr Harr Fiddle Dee Dee 

Being a pirate is okay by me
https://pirateproxy.cc/

VS

Garen

Easy

Who is this horrendously handsome stud?

VS

Gnar

Easy

What a cute little AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

VS

Gragas

Easy

Gragas knows how to live, not only is he drunk at all times but he has freaking barrels of booze on him at all times

VS

Graves

Easy

Easy this guy doesn't even have a cigar.

VS

Hecarim

Easy

In this case is it Necrophilia or Beastiality

VS

Heimerdinger

Easy

F*cking Dongers

VS

Irelia

Easy
OHHHH MAMA
Image result for irelia ass 
Dat F*cking ass

VS

Janna

Easy

VS

Jarvan IV

Easy

Bruhh

VS

Jax

Easy

Swords are better than lamps.

VS

Jayce

Easy

What an As*hole

VS

Jinx

Easy

Gives me a very weird erection

VS

Karma

Easy

Ingredients

  • 125g butter, softened
  • 100g light brown soft sugar
  • 125g caster sugar
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 225g self-raising flour
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 200g chocolate chips

Method

  1. Preheat the oven to 180°C, gas mark 4
  2. Cream butter and sugars, once creamed, combine in the egg and vanilla.
  3. Sift in the flour and salt, then the chocolate chips.
  4. Roll into walnut size balls, for a more homemade look, or roll into a long, thick sausage shape and slice to make neater looking cookies.
  5. Place on ungreased baking paper. If you want to have the real Millies experience then bake for just 7 minutes, till the cookies are just setting - the cookies will be really doughy and delicious. Otherwise cook for 10 minutes until just golden round the edges.
  6. Take out of the oven and leave to harden for a minute before transferring to a wire cooling rack. These are great warm, and they also store well, if they don't all get eaten straight away!

VS

Karthus

Easy

Maaaaad Necrophilia right now

VS

Kassadin

Easy

No, I am your father

VS

Katarina

Easy

Kick a ginger day 2017

VS

Kayle

Easy

Took me two years to determine the gender of this thing

VS

Kennen

Easy

Ratatouille

VS

Kha'Zix

Easy

VS

Kog'Maw

Easy

A Discount Xenomorph

VS

LeBlanc

Easy

VS

Lee Sin

Easy

VS

Leona

Easy

VS

Lissandra

Easy

VS

Lucian

Easy

VS

Lulu

Easy

VS

Lux

Easy

VS

Malphite

Easy

VS

Malzahar

Easy

VS

Maokai

Easy

VS

Master Yi

Easy

VS

Miss Fortune

Easy

VS

Mordekaiser

Easy

VS

Morgana

Easy

VS

Nami

Easy

VS

Nasus

Hard

Watch out for his level one all in cause his level one is the strongest in the game right now. Every seven seconds his auto can deal 30 extra physical damage.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS ONE

DO NOT F*CK WITH THE DOGGY DOG

VS

Nautilus

Easy

VS

Nidalee

Easy

VS

Nocturne

Easy

VS

Nunu

Easy

VS

Olaf

Easy

VS

Orianna

Easy

VS

Pantheon

Easy

VS

Poppy

Easy

VS

Quinn

Easy

VS

Rammus

Easy

VS

Renekton

Easy

VS

Rengar

Easy

VS

Riven

Easy

VS

Rumble

Easy

VS

Ryze

Easy

VS

Sejuani

Easy

VS

Shaco

Easy

VS

Shen

Easy

VS

Shyvana

Easy

VS

Singed

Easy

VS

Sion

Easy

VS

Sivir

Easy

VS

Skarner

Easy

VS

Sona

Easy

VS

Swain

Easy

VS

Syndra

Easy

VS

Talon

Easy

VS

Taric

Easy

VS

Teemo

Easy

VS

Thresh

Easy

VS

Tristana

Easy

VS

Trundle

Easy

VS

Twisted Fate

Easy

VS

Twitch

Easy

VS

Udyr

Easy

VS

Urgot

Easy

VS

Varus

Easy

VS

Vayne

Easy

VS

Veigar

Easy

VS

Vel'Koz

Easy

VS

Vi

Easy

VS

Viktor

Easy

VS

Vladimir

Easy

VS

Volibear

Easy

VS

Warwick

Easy

VS

Wukong

Easy

VS

Xerath

Easy

VS

Xin Zhao

Easy

VS

Yasuo

Easy

VS

Yorick

Easy

VS

Zac

Easy

VS

Zed

Easy

VS

Ziggs

Easy

Bush Garen Back to Top

When you have 3078_32.png and 3087_32.png That is when the bush Garen hits his peak. We are talking about Your Q damage which is 30/55/80/105/130 and your Ad since it is an auto attack Plus 3078_32.png proc which is 200% of your base ad and then the 3087_32.png which does 100 magic damage.
IN BUSH WE TRUST
george-w-bush_jpg_800x1000_q100.jpg

The three steps towards happiness Back to Top

The three steps to achieve the perfect Bush Garen


1. Find a nice quiet cozy bush to hang and chill in.

2. Wait

3. Kill the absolute living shit out of every life form that dares to cross the threshold of your bush

Image result for we want a shrubbery

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